Confuzius

Music produces a kind of pleasure which human nature cannot do without.

Confucius (c.551-479 BC) Chinese philosopher

Old timers sex

Old Timers Sex - This is too funny to be dirty - enjoy!

The husband leans over and asks his wife, 'Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you.'

'Yes', she says, 'I remember it well.' 'OK,' he says, 'How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?' 'Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!'

A police officer heard their conversation and thinks to himself, 'I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence.'

The elderly couple walk haltingly, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. They get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.

Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for ten minutes as both make loud noises, moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed, thinking that he has learned something about life and old age he didn't know about. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on.

As the couple pass by him he says, 'Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?' Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, 'Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence.'

Ostersonntag in Deutschland

Ostersonntag ist für meine Kinder langweilig geworden. Mein Sohn ist jetzt 17 Jahre alt, und meine Tochter, 13, und sie wussten schon seit langem, dass es eigentlich keinen Osterhase gibt, der ihnen Geschenke jeder Ostersonntag bringt. Trotzdem bereiten meine Frau jedes Jahr kleine Überraschungen für beide Kindern vor. Glücklicherweise sind die Geschenke nicht mehr überall auf dem Garten versteckt, in dem die ganze Nachbarschaft beobachten können, wie die Kinder die Blumentöpfe, Steine, und Bänke umkippen, um ihre gefärbte Eier, Süßigkeiten, und kleine Geschenken zu suchen. Nein, dieses Mal hat meine Frau Osterhases Geschenke in zwei Körbchen unserem Keller diskret versteckt. "Keine Fotos bitte, Papa", protestierte mein Sohn als ich versucht habe, ihre Suchtaktion zu dokumentieren.

Ich sehe schon, dass unser Ostersonntags Tradition bald zu Ende geht. Aber ich hoffe, dass meine Kinder diese Erfahrung weiter mit ihren Kindern in der Zukunft fortsetzen wollen. Es gab keine Osterhasen als ich Kind war und ich bin dankbar, dass ich sie mit meiner Kinder hier in Deutschland erlebt habe. Ich habe nicht nur ihre Freude bei der Suche ihrer Ostereier genossen, aber auch ihre Geschenke.

Dieses Mal haben meine Frau und ich von den kleinen Osterhasen ein kleines Gedicht bekommen:

Morgenklang

des Morgens früh werd ich geweckt

von eines Vogels Singsang.

Und seh das Gras, von Tau bedeckt,

bewegt vom Frischem Windklang.

Mit solcher Geschenke, ich hoffe, dass nächstes Jahr der Osterhase bei uns wieder vorbeikommt.

Watching Europa Master Cup

Coming from a basketball country, I'm not a big fan of football and unlike my football-crazy German friends I never religiously watched every game in the on-going Europa Master Cup hosted by Austria and Switzerland. But the game between Turkey and Germany is something I'll never fail to watch tonight. There is so much passion involved in this game. Turkey is the underdog but the Germans who are the heavy favourite are not taking their chances. Football is a very unpredictable sport. It is a combination of skills, team work, and psychology. The Dutch team players' combination of technique and teamwork were deemed insurmountable after they humbled the Italians- the reigning world masters. Yet the Dutch were in turn brought down to their knees by the Russians whom everybody considered a "door mat" at the start of the Cup. The Dutch were not able to withstand the pressure in the penalty kick after a nerve-wracking 120 minutes game amid 30°C summer heat. Now every remaining team in the Cup fears the Russian bears whose young and unknown players demonstrated unheard of skills, grit, and determination.




Another thing that fascinates me with football is the way it is played out beyond the stadiums where they were played. The victory or defeat of a national team brings out passionate jubilation or mourning to millions and millions of their fans-- some of them- albeit the minority- do at times become violent. I don't know that is in football that elicits so much Europeans' tribal instinct of loyalty, pride and heroism. (Yes, Europeans treat their winning teams like conquering heroes.)

For the thousands of Turkish migrants living in Germany. The game tonight presents a difficult dilemma: are they going to cheer for the team of their country of origin or the team of their adopted country. Tonight my question will be answered...

P.S.: here's an excellent article about the German national football team written by an archrival.

In search of the perfect Filipino...

 

This is a card I got when I arrived here in Europe many years ago . I find this very funny and I thought why can't we have our version. So,  here friends let us start the search for the Perfect Filipino. Here's my initial list, admittedly reflecting my own biases:

1. As submissive as the Tagalogs (remember all those "po" and "opo's"?)

2. As cultured as the Cebuanos (hahaha... Cebuanos of the world unite!)

3. As brave as the Tausugs (remember the origin of the word "amok" and how the Americans developed the cal. 45 to counter them?)

4. As generous as the Ilocanos (hmmm... they're our Dutch, remember?)

5. As proud as the Maranaos (oh, those Maratabat thing called here in Europe as "honor killing")

6. Humble like the Ilonggos (ay, ang kwarta sa amon ginapiko, ginapala gid man!)

7. Gourmet like the Pampaguenos (I really don't recall now what cooking they have...)

8. Patriot like the Boholanos...

Now it's your turn friends....

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Aristotle: To actualize ist potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Darwin: It was th logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Rene Descartes: It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.

Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?

Epicurus: For fun.

Basil Fawlty: Oh, don’t mind that chicken. It’s from Barcelona.

Pierre de Fermat: I just don’t have room here to give the full explanation.

Michel Foucault: It did so because the discourse of crossing the road left it no choice; the police state      was oppresing it.

Sigmund Freud: The chicken was obviously female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverständlich.

Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving ver fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Immanuel Kant: Because it was a duty.

H.P. Lovecraft: To escape the eldritch, cthonic, rugose, polypous, indescribably horrible abomination not from our space-time continuum.

Groucho Marx: Chicken? What’s all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.

Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Jack Nicholson: ‘cause it (censored) wanted to. That’s the (censored) reason.

J. Danforth Quayle: It wasw ae potatoee.

Ronald Reagan: Well, I forget.

George W. Bush: to seek Christ and avoid his alcoholic friends.

Sisyphus: Was it pushing a rock, too?

Socrates: To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Margret Thatcher: There was no alternative.

Angela Merkel: to escape the rotten German Democratic Republic.

Silvio Berlusconi: because he wanted to vote for me.

One of the reasons why Filipinas like to marry Swiss men

Took these pictures during the Sinulog celebration last January, near Zurich. Entering the urinal of the hall were the celebration was held, I was amused with what I saw: a Swiss father lovingly changing the soiled pampers of his 3 year-old son. The Filipina mother was either busy or just enjoying herself in the hall. Complimenting him for doing this work, he rebuffed me saying "what's the fuss, I like to do it" for his son. Later, I searched for them outside to get his e-mail address to send him these (and to meet his Filipina wife) but they were nowhere to be found, probably lost in the big crowd of revelers.