Why did the chicken cross the road?

Aristotle: To actualize ist potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Darwin: It was th logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Rene Descartes: It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.

Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?

Epicurus: For fun.

Basil Fawlty: Oh, don’t mind that chicken. It’s from Barcelona.

Pierre de Fermat: I just don’t have room here to give the full explanation.

Michel Foucault: It did so because the discourse of crossing the road left it no choice; the police state      was oppresing it.

Sigmund Freud: The chicken was obviously female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverständlich.

Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving ver fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

Immanuel Kant: Because it was a duty.

H.P. Lovecraft: To escape the eldritch, cthonic, rugose, polypous, indescribably horrible abomination not from our space-time continuum.

Groucho Marx: Chicken? What’s all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.

Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

Jack Nicholson: ‘cause it (censored) wanted to. That’s the (censored) reason.

J. Danforth Quayle: It wasw ae potatoee.

Ronald Reagan: Well, I forget.

George W. Bush: to seek Christ and avoid his alcoholic friends.

Sisyphus: Was it pushing a rock, too?

Socrates: To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Margret Thatcher: There was no alternative.

Angela Merkel: to escape the rotten German Democratic Republic.

Silvio Berlusconi: because he wanted to vote for me.